


In which Aziraphale and Crowely are Gods 6000 year long slow burn fic.

by Stabby_Stab



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale and Crowley are soulmates, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, GG/N and G/N, God is a fangirl, God married Aziraphale and Crowely without their knowledge, God uses she/her pronouns, God yells at Ineffable husbands to shut up and snog, God’s appearance is based off a dream I had where I met god, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mostly God POV, god is a little shit, god is pretty much a projection of my dumbass friends fandom qualities™ except 10000 times worse, god was never dignified but she acted like she was until she watched OHSHC and Naruto, ineffable husbands, nothing really explicit but its there, small sex mentions, they mean God Notes and Gods God notes, this is my first fic for the Gomens fandom I don't know how to write them please be nice to me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-25 20:20:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20918012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stabby_Stab/pseuds/Stabby_Stab
Summary: God… is a little less heavenly, and more fangirly than most believe. She’s also a Mexican women in an gay ally t-shirt but that’s a topic for another day.





	In which Aziraphale and Crowely are Gods 6000 year long slow burn fic.

**Author's Note:**

> I have nothing to say for myself, other than suck it, god in this is 100% based off a dream I had where god was a pimply Mexican women. Also most of this was written while traveling or half asleep lol.

God peered down from the branches, seeing the demon Crawly interacting with her angel, Aziraphale. 

_‘How strange… they seem to be getting along quite well though.’_

The demon turned to the angel, tearing his eyes from Adam and Eve. “Didn’t you have a flaming sword?” 

“Uh-“

“Yeah you did! It was flaming all over the place!”

“Um” Aziraphale was sweaty by now, something he didn’t even realize was possible. And what’s with this pit in his stomach?

“Lost it already have you?” Crawly said with a chuckle in his voice. 

“Gave it away.”

“You **what!?**”

“I gave it away! There are vicious animals out there!”

God swore she saw heart eyes coming from Crawly, and vowed that they’d be soulmates, (what did that mean? She didn’t know. It just sounded right) grabbing her string, she pricked her finger with a needle and dyed the string red, before invisibly going down and tying it gently between their pinky’s, it also being invisible to their eyes. 

She retreated back to heaven and admired her work.

_‘Could be gayer.’_

Snapping her fingers, she wed them. Without them knowing. Or realizing in any way. 

Good fucking job God. 

Sitting down, she waited. This will be one hella fun slowburn. (Once again she didn’t know what that meant quite yet. It sounded right though.)

—————————————————

Flash forward to 6000 years later, and they barely hold hands for like 2 minutes on the bus. 

_‘What the fuck gays’_

By now, God had given up her beauty routine (And honestly, who cares? She's still beautiful to all that behold her, especially her wife) letting her pimples and weird wispy mustache grow, opting just for good hygiene and a decent outfit. She’d also given up being dignified in any way, since heaven knew by now what a fangirl she was. 

“God?” 

God whipped her head around, to see the ‘archangel fucking Gabriel.’

“Ah hello my boy.”

“Er, hello. How’s your wife doing?”

God smiled fondly. “Oh Agnes is doing great.”

“That’s nice… what are you watching?” Gabriel asked, as he bent over the small IPhone god was using to watch Aziraphale and Crowley. 

“Wait-“

Gabriel gasped, an over exaggerated, offended expression coming over his face. “I don’t believe this! Why are they dining at the ritz?? Isn’t that a couple thing-“

“Yeah. I married them like 6000 years ago though so it’s fine.” God muttered. 

“You did **WHAT NOW?**” Gabriel screeched. 

“Yeah they’ve been married for 6000 years and don’t know it yet lol.”

“B-but Aziraphales an angel,,, and Crowley-“

“Is a demon yadda yadda. I don’t care.”

“My lord-”

God glared, glarefully.  
“Don't make me rename you Naruto” 

Gabriel shuts up.

—————————————————  
3 years later  
—————————————————

Agnes stared over God's shoulder, looking a bit annoyed at the screen of Her phone as she placed a kiss on her wife's cheek. 

“I wish they'd shut up and snog already, those dumbasses still don't realize their literally made for each other” Agnes said, her voice still thick with the 17th century accent from oh so long ago.

“Oh..” God sighed, exasperated with her OTP “well dear, there's not much we can do about it..” 

Agnes sighed, pinching her brow. “Yes we can my love, thy is literally god, thou canst command them to shut up and makeout. Or hast thou forgotten that you hold divine powers?”

“You know dear… I think your right, their mutual pining has gone on long enough.” 

“I’m always right” Agnes said confidently. “Honestly you should listen to me more.”

“Do it enough in bed” God muttered so quietly, Agnes barely heard it. 

“You being a pillow princess hath nothing to do with this”

—————————————————

Aziraphale was drinking wine with his best friend, Crowley. 

He wish it wasn’t the case. Not the fact that he’s drinking wine with Crowley, but the fact that they’re only best friends.  
He wanted to be allowed to touch, allowed to love, allowed to kiss (My how nsfw) Crowley's collarbones, to undress his impossibly tight clothes, to make love (Oh he was terribly flustard now-) to Crowley and his impossibly long attractive body. To merely love the suave* demon. 

*(G/N, this is merely the opinion of Aziraphale, literally everyone else on the planet, while finding Crowley pretty/handsome or whatever, thought he was the most anxiety ridden dork to ever be an anxiety ridden dork, the only ones blind to this, are Azirphale, who’s been thinking Crowley's the most attractive thing ever since day 1, and Newt Pulsifer, who is somehow even less cool than Crowley.)

Sipping deeply into his wine, he stared at Crowley from across the table, admiring how his eyes gleamed like honey in the low light. Goodness, how he wished his love wasn’t against heavens rule-

**“Aziraphale Ziraphale Fell! Anthony Jesus Crowley!”** God’s voice boomed through the bookshop

Both Crowley and Aziraphale jumped about a foot high at the sound of Her voice.

_‘Ohfuckshecaughtme-’_ Aziraphales thoughts were racing, here it was, he was going to fall-

**“I married you two dumbasses 6000 years ago, why the fuck have you not gotten properly together yet?”**

_‘Wait what’_

“We’ve been married for 6000 years!?!?” Crowley shouted, looking shocked.

**“Yes that's what I just said.”**

‘Wait so that means…’

“I've spent THIS BLOODY LONG on PINING for someone that I THOUGHT I WASN’T ALLOWED TO LOVE ONLY TO DISCOVER WE’VE BEEN MARRIED SINCE WE FIRST MET??” Aziraphale yelled, nearly at the point of crying.

**“Yeah pretty much”**

“For fucks sake- I missed out on so many opportunities-” 

**“Alright imma peace out and let you deal with this on your own lmao.”**

Crowley blinked. “Did God just say lmao?”

Aziraphale grabbed Crowley by the collar. “Never mind that we’ve been married for 6000 years and neither of us knew shit about it! I spent 6000 years pining after you like a hopeless loser-”

“You’ve loved me for 6000 years?” Crowley said softly, his voice choked with emotion. 

Aziraphale let out a breath, letting his words tumble out “Yes I have and I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner I was just scared about heaven since 90% of my bosses are dicks-”

Crowley rolled his eyes, tired of Aziraphale’s yammering, and shut him up with a kiss. Which effectively backfired because his angel was surprisingly good at kissing, and oh fuck Aziraphales not on his lap anymore he’s on Aziraphales this wasn’t the plan-

—————————————————

God had a little smile at her creations finally going at it, before letting them have their privacy, and retiring for the night.

(GG/N. While She didn’t need sleep, She liked it, especially the feeling of waking up being spooned by her loving wife.)

**Author's Note:**

> That was fun to write, I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
